I have fallen free from all the demons inside
They have haunted me for years, now they're gone
Since childhood, they have slayed my good side
I have spread my wings, soaring through the clouds
Up high in the clear sky, i breathe beautiful air
Watching the world velow, the people are suffering
I have witnessed others trapped as i was
Trembling, they are still held incontempt
Begging, i try to save the harmed
I have tried to make my reasoning clear to them
Finally the people are set free to live, they are up high
Flying through the clear sky with me, they are thankful
This is lovely - I really like the imagry and the word "velow" - great.
ReplyDeleteSuggestions:
-Try to take out (or place somewhere else) some of your commas - you get into a rhythm and it becomes choppy near the end.
-"Flying through the clear sky" - kind of juvinile, think you could have something stronger - but i LOVE the last part "they are thankful"
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